Bill of Rights from ACA (Adult Children of Alcoholics)

1. My life has choices beyond mere survival.

2. I have the right to say no to anything when I feel I am not ready or feel unsafe.

3. My life is not motivated by fear.

4. I have a right to all my feelings.

5. I am not always guilty.

6. I have the right to make mistakes.

7. There is no need to smile when I cry.

8. I have the right to end conversations with people when I feel put down or humiliated.

9. I can be emotionally healthier than those around me.

10. It is okay to be relaxed, playful, and frivolous.

11. I have the right to change and grow.

12. It is important to set limits and be selfish.

13. I can be angry at someone I love.

14. It is important to take care of myself.

Top Causes of Stress in the U.S.

Top Causes of Stress in the U.S.

1. Job Pressure (Co-Worker Tension, Bosses, Work Overload)
2. Money (Loss of Job, Reduced Retirement, Medical Expenses)
3. Health (Health Crisis, Terminal or Chronic Illness)
4. Relationships (Divorce, Death of Spouse, Arguments with Friends, Loneliness)
5. Poor Nutrition (Inadequate Nutrition, Caffeine, Processed Foods, Refined Sugars)
6. Media Overload (Television, Radio, Internet, E-Mail, Social Networking)
7. Sleep Deprivation (Inability to release adrenaline and other stress hormone) 

U.S Stress Statistics Data

1. Percent of people who regularly experience physical symptoms caused by stress = 77 %
2. Regularly experience psychological symptoms caused by stress = 73 %
3. Feel they are living with extreme stress = 33 %
4. Feel their stress has increased over the past five years = 48 %
5. Cited money and work as the leading cause of their stress = 76 %
6. Reported lying awake at night due to stress = 48 %

Are you CODEPENDENT?

Characteristics of Codependents:

1. Low self-esteem
2. People-pleasing
3. Poor boundaries/Not able to say "NO"
4. Caretaking
5. Difficulty communicating thoughts, feelings and needs
6. Obsessive thoughts
7. Dependency
8. Denial
9. Difficulty being intimate in relationships

Parenting Styles - WHAT IS YOURS?

Human development psychologists have long been interested in how parents impact child development. And they have especially tried to answer the question: Is there a link between parenting styles and the effects these styles have on children? Researchers have categorized parenting styles into 4 different approaches:

1) Authoritarian Parenting: Parents who are highly controlling, have high demands, show little warmth, and adhere to rigid rules. Parents have little communication with their children and issue commands which they expect to be obeyed or punishment will follow. 

2) Authoritative Parenting: Parents who establish rules and guidelines for their children, yet are flexible and democratic. These parents combine a high degree of warmth, acceptance, and encouragement of autonomy. They encourage communication and negotiation in rule setting within the family.They are nurturing and forgiving rather than punishing; assertive, but not intrusive and restrictive.

3) Permissive Parenting: Parents who exercise little control over their children but are high in warmth. They are generally nurturing and communicative with their children but provide little guidance for them. They have very few demands and rarely discipline their children. 

4) Uninvolved/Indifferent Parenting: Parents who neither set limits nor display much affection or approval. This parenting style is characterized by few demands, low responsiveness and little communication. They are generally detached and focused on their own stress and have little energy left for their children.

Research studies have led to a number of conclusions about the impact of parenting styles on children.

Authoritarian Parenting styles generally lead to children who are obedient and proficient, but they rank lower in happiness, social competence and self-esteem.

Authoritative Parenting styles tend to result in children who are happy, capable and successful.

Permissive Parenting often results in children who rank low in happiness and self-regulation. These children are more likely to experience problems with authority and tend to perform poorly in school.

Uninvolved/Indifferent Parenting styles rank lowest across all life domains. These children tend to lack self-control, have low self-esteem and are less competent than their peers. 

(Craig & Dunn, 2007, Cherry, 2013)

Has your teenager turned into an alien?

ADOLESCENCE - Differentiation of the Self

A person's identity is formed in the family of origin. Until puberty, it is hard to think of ourselves apart from our family. It is in our family that we acquire the majority of our attitudes, beliefs, and values. And our self-concept is shaped by what we believe our parents think of us. During puberty, however, the process of differentiation begins. It is by this process that teenagers establish an identity separate from their family. During the process of differentiation and identity formation, the adolescent is often caught between the family and the peer group. This is a time when parents throw up their hands in despair, wonder what happened to their son/daughter, and are at a loss as to how to deal with their beloved one.

Differentiation of the self involves both the psychological separation of intellect and emotion, and independence of the self from others.  In the process of individuation, individuals acquire a sense of self-identity. This differentiation from the family of origin enables them to accept personal responsibility for their thoughts, feelings, perceptions, and actions.